Photobombers Should be Euthanized

Let me paint a picture for you:  You're at a coffee shop. You're on a date. The date is going really well. It was only supposed to be an hour long date at Espresso Royale, but one hour quickly became three hours. Hell, you just missed your shift at work! It doesn't matter. Nothing else matters but this. You haven't felt a connection like this in a very long time. You honestly feel like this conversation could last forever. After you both escape the trance of the other's voice, you realize that life must continue. You both want something to mark this event in your lives. They ask for a picture. You agree, knowing your friends will never believe that you actually went on a blind date that worked out.

You return to your car and take a seat, exhaling deeply as you reflect on the day. You look down at your phone at the picture you've just taken, to remind yourself that what just happened was real. There are your two faces, elated with the joy  of a perfect afternoon. It would be the perfect picture, if it wasn't for the overweight Caucasian male with hipster glasses, crossed eyes, and lewd hand-gestures clearly directed toward your camera. Full of anger and despair, you rev your engine and speed out of the parking lot, only to be blind-sided by a semi-truck. Your funeral is next Thursday. 

Situations like this could be easily avoided, if only assholes would get the fuck out of pictures that they don't fucking belong in. Seriously. I can't believe I lost the vote on this shit. The Reddit for photobombing describes this activity as "making boring photos better." Seriously?

This is what is wrong with America. The stupid fucking egocentric idea that every picture is somehow automatically better because it has your dumb-fuck face in it? You know what's really funny, photobombers? Showering yourselves with turpentine and jumping into an open flame.

There is nothing clever, creative or original about photobombing. You're simply doing what hundreds of thousands of children have done for decades. When kids put up bunny ears in pictures, we yell at them to correct their idiotic activity. But they have an excuse. They don't know any better. To them, the world is all about them. That's not what adults do. We show empathy for others by not cutting in lines, not talking in theaters and not purposefully putting our faces into other people's photos.

The act of photobombing is intentional, and there are plenty of instances where animals ruin pictures taken by humans. These are funny, because the animal doesn't know any better. A horse isn't TRYING to be a dick when he gets in the way of a photo, he just doesn't know any better because he's a stupid fucking horse. If you're guilty of photobombing, remind yourself that you know better. You're not creative. You deserve to be shot behind a barn.

I can't believe I lost this fucking vote.

Akshat and Dan should be ashamed. 

- Marc