BONUS RANT #5: The Bidet Discussion

Special thanks to Taylor Higgins ( @taylorhigs ) for the use of our logo.

Special thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for the use of our logo.

BONUS RANT #5: The Bidet Discussion

It's a Thursday, and that means BONUS CONTENT!

This week's Bonus Rant is a bonus discussion that was mentioned numerous times in Episode #22, but was inevitably scrapped for being too gross and terrible. The filth included:

  • Akshat saying the word "poop" many, many, many times.
  • Dan's love for water up his asshole, and a greater love for the fan that dries his asshole off.
  • A horrified and confused Marc.
  • Bidets. We talk about bidets a lot during this episode.

You probably don't want to hear this discussion. I'd turn back now if I were you...

Special thanks to Fletcher Magellan for our theme song, "Oh, No!" off his upcoming album. Listen to it, and other singles like it on his Soundcloud.

#22 Secondhand Mason Jar Toilets

Special thanks to Taylor Higgins ( @taylorhigs ) for the use of our logo!

Special thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for the use of our logo!

Episode 22 of the Is This A Thing Podcast!

"Secondhand Mason Jar Toilets"

Potential Things This week: 

  • Toilet SeatsWe almost completely dive into the age-old issue of toilet seats, and narrowly avoid bidets...
  • Mason Jars: Where will you be when the ghost of Carrie Nation comes back to destroy all the mason jars?
  • Thrift Shopping: Akshat wouldn't want to pop some tags, even if he knew what that meant.
  • Headphones while Driving: Another group of people to go to ITAT prison.

This episode was a day late because we were remembering our veterans the only way we know how: grilled meats, hard cider and Cards Against Humanity. This week we finally bring up Toilet Seats. Oh good. Another excuse for Akshat to say "poop" 35 times... Then we hop into Mason Jars. A trend that seems to be on the back end... OF MY BAT. Then we talk about Thrift Shopping. Akshat doesn't trust thrift shops, and really who can blame him. None of the stains are identifiable. Finally we bring up the monstrous people who wear headphones while driving. Unsafe, uncouth, uncool. Unanimous.

"When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a mason jar."

Special thanks to Fletcher Magellan for our theme song, "Oh, No!" off his upcoming album. Listen to it, and other singles like it on his Soundcloud.

#21: Honk if You're Lonely (Drunk Laundry)

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins ( @taylorhigs ) for our logo!

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for our logo!

Episode 21 of the Is This A Thing Podcast!

"Honk if You're Lonely (Drunk Laundry)"

Potential Things This week: 

  • Talking to StrangersOne of our oldest  faux pas gets challenged by Dan. Talk to all the strangers about their areas of expertise. Except Dan. Don't fucking ask him what he does.
  • Selfie Sticks: Like most things, their folly is general incompetence. Also like most things their solution involves drones.
  • Drunk Laundry: Have you ever tried to do laundry sober?
  • Car Horns: The only solution is more punishment for all involved.

On this day, 39 years ago, Kevin Maurice Garnett was born. Happy Birthday, #21. Hey, its also our 21st Episode! On this episode we talk about talking with people on the job. Much less scary than actually doing it. Then, Dan discovers his true passion, working two jobs at once. We discuss Selfie Sticks, a problem solver that causes the same problems they were meant to solve. Akshat brings up Drunk Laundry, and we finish with a discussion of Car Horns. Intended for life or death situations, used to teach shitty lessons.

"The city that never sleeps FOR A VERY PARTICULAR REASON."

Special thanks to Fletcher Magellan for our theme song, "Oh, No!" off his upcoming album. Listen to it, and other singles like it on his Soundcloud.

BONUS RANT #3: Akshat's Lawyer

Special thanks to  Taylor Higgins  ( @taylorhigs ) for the use of our logo.

Special thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for the use of our logo.

BONUS RANT #3: Akshat's Lawyer

It's a Thursday, and that means BONUS CONTENT!

This week on the podcast we had discussed winning the lottery, and what each of us would do with our pile of money. Akshat's was a lawyer that could help him:

  • Cancel plans with people
  • Deal with annoying family members
  • Kill off anyone who found out about his money

If Akshat's Prius has a sunroof, don't say a goddamn word. Do enjoy listening to his rant though!

Special thanks to Fletcher Magellan for our theme song, "Oh, No!" off his upcoming album. Listen to it, and other singles like it on his Soundcloud.

#19: Robo Lotto Black Friday 4000

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins ( @taylorhigs ) for our logo!

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for our logo!

Episode 19 of the Is This A Thing Podcast!

"Robo Lotto Black Friday 4000"

Potential Things This week: 

  • Soda Water Update: A "new manager type" gets all up in Marc's cup.  
  • Naming Your Car: All good names come about organically. Or come at the flip of a quarter and roll of a D6.
  • The Lottery: A tax on idiots. Like Akshat, apparently. Although apparently we're the idiots for thinking so.
  • Black Friday: This one's from the archives of two Thanksgivings ago. Support America. Support Black Friday.

Feliz Cinco de Mayo! On this holiday we celebrate many potential things. First, we get an update about the riveting Soda Water Controversy from Episode 18. A new manager gets a little over zealous. Then, we think about Car Names. Believe it or not, the film Herbie Fully Loaded actually covers the death of car personalities (and names) surprisingly well. Akshat then argues about the Lottery. He's not stupid for buying a ticket. You're stupid for telling him not to buy one. Finally we finish with one from the vaults on Black Friday and Thanksgiving. Thanks for listening!

"Just one word. Crankfest?"

Special thanks to Fletcher Magellan for our new theme song, "Oh, No!" off his upcoming album. Listen to it, and other singles like it on his Soundcloud.

#18: Crime! From Chipotle to the Cemetery

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@ taylorhigs ) for our logo!

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for our logo!

Episode 18 of this Is This A Thing Podcast!

"Crime! From Chipotle to the Cemetery"

Potential Things This week: 

  • Soda WaterDoes asking for a cup for water cover the carbonation? Is it a crime? Do I owe them two pennies for the bubbles? 
  • 90 Degree Back-Ins: Cocky assholes making Akshat wait a couple minutes for their fancy parking jobs. Who do they think they are? Elevator riders?
  • Cemeteries: Hotbeds for crime. But only from 8pm-8am. Let me mourn my nana during the day. Also let me buy some dank weed at night. (A great listener question)

It's Episode 18 of the Is This a Thing Podcast! We start by discussing Soda Water. Does my free cup of water entitle me to some CO2? It definitely entitles me to ALL THEIR LEMONS. Then Akshat brings up 90 Degree Back-Ins. Spoiler alert: he hates them. He also discovers his own cognitive dissonance. Finally, Annie from Minneapolis by way of Pennsylvania tells us of Crime Cemeteries. At night? Crime time. During the day? Prime time (to mourn your loved ones).

"Stop doing lines off that headstone!"

Special thanks to Fletcher Magellan for our new theme song, "Oh, No!" off his upcoming album. Listen to it, and other singles like it on his Soundcloud.

Is This A Thing Episode #16: Hot Tony Goes to the Movies (Alone)

Special thanks to Taylor Higgins ( @taylorhigs ) for creating our logo!

Special thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for creating our logo!

Episode 16 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast!

"Hot Tony Goes to the Movies (Alone)"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • Bathroom Graffiti: Don't look away from your phone while you're in public restrooms. Unless you're going to write "Hot Tony" on the wall.
  • The Stupid Dan Show: Like the Truman Show, but about Dan. Also stupid.
  • Astrology: Dan insults his friends for a few minutes while Marc and Akshat laugh at him.
  • Going to Movies Alone: Who has the time to go to movies alone? Depressing people. That's who. Are you the old man watching Up by himself and weeping? Way to make everyone sad, guy.

Episode 16 starts with bathroom graffiti. Everyone wants to be a bathroom comedian. Hint: no one is. Except that one guy who wrote "Hot Tony" on the bathroom wall. But he's probably a comedy professor at Harvard by now. Then Dan talks about his worst nightmare: being dumb. (Nobody tell him). He takes a stab at debunking astrology before giving up. (See?) We then debate going to movies alone. The only way to do this and not be creepy? Bring a clipboard.

"I don't want to kill him. But if I was going to, I'd drown him."

Special thanks to Fletcher Magellan for our new theme song, "Oh, No!" off his upcoming album. Listen to it, and other singles like it on his Soundcloud.

Is This A Thing Episode #14: Hello? Is it Pork Rinds You're Looking For?

Special thanks to  Taylor Higgins  ( @taylorhigs ) for designing our logo!

Special thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for designing our logo!

Episode 14 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast!

"Hello? Is it Pork Rinds You're Looking For?"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • Not Knowing the Proper Aisle: Should you be embarrassed if you can't find an item at a store? Whether you're looking for pork rinds or LED light bulbs, you're in the wrong aisle. The right aisle is at  www.amazon.com.
  • Cigarette Bans: Don't ever smoke indoors, but let the smokers kill themselves in peace. Or at least on public sidewalks.
  • Cellphone Speakers: Please don't play music/podcasts from your cellphone speakers in public. Or even in your home, if you can help it.
  • ITAT Etiquette Police: Who you gonna call when people are being terrible in public? ITAT! We'll be there with our bright pink Kevlar and tasers.

We start off Episode 14 by talking about the secretly uncouth Lionel Richie music video Hello. Then we talk about that embarrassing moment when you can't find what you're looking for in a store. What's embarrassing? You didn't order it online. Then we have a sad, tired discussion about smoking bans. Just leave smokers alone! They didn't CHOOSE to smoke! Finally, we get a listener question from Chris in Minneapolis. Listening to music through cellphone speakers in public. Is that a thing? No. But don't confront them, unless you want to get stabbed.

Special thanks to Fletcher Magellan for our new theme song, "Oh, No!" off his upcoming album. Listen to it, and other singles like it on his Soundcloud.

Is This A Thing Episode #13: Multidimensional Dog Buffet

Special thanks to  Taylor Higgins  (@taylorhigs) for our St. Paddy's logo!

Special thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for our St. Paddy's logo!

Episode 13 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast!

"Multidimensional Dog Buffet"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • Newscasters on Television: We're not sure there's a concrete answer to whether real newscasters should be allowed in fictional universes. We do know that we'd like Larry King in all fictional universes, playing all the roles.  
  • Buffets: Forget every opinion you had, because you've been living in a Ivory Tower, going to buffet after buffet and getting fat on chinese food and judgement. 
  • General Tso' Pizza: The good idea train keeps rolling. Yes, we've applied for a McArthur Genius Grant. No, they won't return our calls.  
  • Facebook Page for Pets: Having a Facebook page is what separated us from the animals. It's the most human act outside of differentiating between a salad fork and a regular fork.  

It's Episode 13 of the Is This A Thing Podcast! We discuss whether it should be okay to have real newscasters in fictional TV Shows and movies. Is it a difference in approach? Is it that we want Larry King to play all the roles in the next Mission Impossible? You'll find out! We then move to Dan's controversial hatred of buffets. Like with most things, Dan's solution is bread lines for the poor. We also come up with the most amazing food of all time: Chinese pizza! The possibilities are as endless as the diarrhea is sure to be! Please give us money. Finally, we have another listener question: is it a thing to make a Facebook page for your pet? We know what you're thinking, and the answer is yes: it would be great if cars sent really hyper sexual tweets to their owners. We're all on the same page here.  

Special thanks to Fletcher Magellan for our new theme song, "Oh, No!" off his upcoming album. Listen to it, and other singles like it on his Soundcloud.

Is This A Thing Episode #12: Open Source Popcorn Soup

Special Thanks to  Taylor Higgins  ( @taylorhigs ) for our logo!

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for our logo!

Episode 12 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast!

"Open Source Popcorn Soup"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • Pound Town: We propose a trip to our significant others. No one accepts.
  • Soylent: A solution to food for people who think food is a problem.
  • Movie Theater Popcorn: Trash food for trash people that makes too much goddamn noise while I'm trying to figure out who the Gone Girl is.
  • Food Noise: We diagnose Akshat with Misophonia. The only cure is isolation.
  • Soup: Too hard to eat properly? Yes. 

In Open Source Popcorn Soup, we discuss Soylent, a food-alternative that fixes the problems of buying and preparing and eating food. Who has those problems? Marc has those problems. Next, listen to Dan's vendetta against movie theater popcorn! The only good use of your popcorn is to keep people away from your seat. Later, we discover that Akshat has been living with Misophonia for his entire life. You can literally hear the repression! Finally, Soup comes up again, and remains just as controversial as it did the first time.

Is This A Thing Episode #11: A Handwritten Request for Help

Special Thanks to  Taylor Higgins  ( @taylorhigs ) for our lovely logo!

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for our lovely logo!

Episode 11 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast!

"A Handwritten Request for Help"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • Asking for Help: It's by the birds. Just take a left at the Linda District. 
  • General Incompetence: 90% of people, 100% of the time. 
  • Fountain Pens: Do you need one? Maybe. Should you use one? Maybe. Should the government send you one when you turn 25? Definitely. 
  • Hot Towels: How open do your pores need to be to truly enjoy Sushi? Find out here! 
  • ITAT Hair: Ever wanted a crappy haircut given to you by a state congressman? 

In this week's episode, we discuss whether you can ask someone for help, and Marc seems a little violent about the whole thing. Probably because of the atrocities he suffered venturing into the Linda District. Akshat gives a passionate speech about how everyone is terrible at everything, which you can read in a new book he'll write in a few decades. It's a legacy thing. You wouldn't understand. We then venture into Fountain Pens, which concludes with a new law being proposed. Call your Senator. Call the President. A Fountain Pen in every mailbox across America is the type of campaign platform that wins elections. Dan talks about the necessity of Hot Towels. If you start thinking it's like a weird sex thing with him, congratulations! So does everyone. Finally, a new way to get haircuts at ITAT Hair. Get a haircut from the Speaker of the House! Maybe you could bring up your Fountain Pen legislation...

"The kid who smelled so bad he was held back in school"

Is This A Thing Episode #10: Alan Rickman: Boy Wizard

ITAT_redorange.jpg

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for our logo!

Episode 10 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast!

"Alan Rickman: Boy Wizard"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • Alan Rickman: Boy Wizard: A one man show that could sell out Carnegie Hall for the next decade. 
  • Naming Your Dog: There is no wrong name to give your dog, as long as the human name you give it is for the purposes of social change.
  • E-Cigs: Why put smoke in your lungs when you can look like a robot?   
  • Books: Take all of your old used books, make sure there's an electronic version somewhere, sell them to a used bookstore. Burn the bookstore to the ground.

Alan Rickman: Boy Wizard is the best idea to come from this show since ITAT Air. An entertainment idea that could easily sweep the nation, if only Akshat won the lottery. We then venture down the rabbit hole of Dog Names. Did you know that your dog's name is wrong? It is, unless it is a compound noun, reference humor or a human name for the purposes of social change. Listen to Dan talk Marc off the ledge of buying E-Cigs, an unregulated phenomenon that is sweeping the nation. And finally, Books. Stop printing them. Start publishing them online, and start collecting them in an area that Marc can easily find...

Gasmask! Sit! Good boy!

Is This A Thing Episode #9: Randy's Rockets and Bikes

Special Thanks to  Taylor Higgins  (@ TaylorHigs ) for the logo!

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@TaylorHigs) for the logo!

Episode 9 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast!

 "Randy's Rockets and Bikes"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • Fireworks: They're explosions in the sky, created by engineers, lit by a sad man drunk on cheap beer. It couldn't be more American. 
  • Tandem Bikes: Remember the Seinfeld moment, where George double dips? Tandem Bikes are kinda like that. Except instead of your whole mouth, it's your lame relationship, and instead of the bowl, it's all of society and existence all day long. 
  • Sitting Down to Pee: No Angle. Just Twitter.  
  • An email question from Trevor, from the Midwest! Please note that the answer is completely unrehearsed and spontaneous, making it completely true. 

It's the 4th of July Episode of Is This A Thing, only a week late! That's not too bad, come on. Things have been worse. In this episode, we talk about a variety of things that are thoroughly American, like biking, explosions, 7th Heaven, and The Wire. We talk about other things too, but those are the most important. We also get an email question, which we answer quickly and decisively. We hope you had a safe 4th of July, though at this point if you did or not the consequences probably already happened. That's what America's about after all. Consequences. Potential Things this week: Fireworks for Adults, Tandem Bikes (only 2, anything above 4 is awesome), Sitting Down to Pee, and Tipping 20%.

Is This A Thing Episode #8: ITAT Air Mail

Special Thanks to  Taylor Higgins  (@ TaylorHigs ) for the logo!

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@TaylorHigs) for the logo!

Episode 8 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast!

 "ITAT Air Mail"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • The Airplane Experience: Fixing the airplane boarding problem is like fixing everything else in society: Look to the behavior of The Businessman and The Businessman Woman.
  • Contextual Flights: Get ready to kickstart Is This A Thing Airlines! Donate enough, and you get a free plane! Like, a whole one. Donate even more, and Akshat will trade you a Pokemon. 
  • Party Bus: It's like a portable, aggressive frat party that follows you around from bar to bar, challenging you to fistfights. 
  • Our first email question! From Frank in Minneapolis! You know, you too could be Frank from Minneapolis. Well, not actually BE Frank. You'd have to ask him, I guess. That's between you and him. But you could email in a question like he did!
  • Hobbies: Numismatics and Philately are the only true hobbies. Oh wait, Pokemon cards. You can collect those too. No other hobbies are real.

It's Episode 8 of the Is This A Thing Podcast! It's an episode of firsts--our first email question, our first Kickstarter idea, and the first time we talk about our views on lotion. The last part is right at the end, after the song. You should stick around though, because it's more interesting than you think! But not by much. Potential Things this week: Fixing the Airplane Experience, Contextual Flights, The Party Bus Phenomenon, and Hobbies.

Is This A Thing Episode #7: Flashmobs Around a Campfire

Special Thanks to  Taylor Higgins  (@ TaylorHigs ) for the Logo!

Special Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@TaylorHigs) for the Logo!

Episode 7 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast

 "Flashmobs Around a Campfire"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • Camping: What could camping have to do with race relations in America? Tune in and find out!  
  • Ghost Stories: Gather 'round and listen hard, to a tale found in no book. A tale of a normal country man, with two hands and no hook.  
  • Flashmobs: In your face, popular thing from 2009!
  • Being a Regular: Social Anxiety 1, Dan and Akshat -200
  • Dan's Mini-Thing: Make sure to listen to the very end of the episode! Yes, past Tears in Heaven. Yes, you have to listen to Clapton. Just get it over with. 

Is This A Thing Episode #4: Cold Showers in Coed Bathrooms

Thanks to  Taylor Higgins  ( @taylorhigs ) for the logo.

Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for the logo.

Episode 4 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast

 "Cold Showers in Coed Bathrooms"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • Hot Showers: Who's taking super hot showers?
  • Cold Showers: Why aren't you taking super cold showers?
  • Mom & Pop Stores: Everyone's out to get Akshat
  • Coed Bathrooms: Every bathroom should be a single-serve bathroom

Is This A Thing Episode #3: Don't Let Oogles Into Your Speakeasy

Thanks to  Taylor Higgins  ( @taylorhigs ) for the logo.

Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for the logo.

Episode 3 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast

 "Don't Let Oogles Into Your Speakeasy"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • "Oogles": A Half-Ass Hobo is a Full-Ass Failure
  • Photobombing: A Victimless Crime
  • Subtitles in Movies and Television: There's No Such Thing as Physical Comedy
  • Bring Back Prohibiton: Dan Just Wants to Feel Cool While Drinking

Is This A Thing Episode #2: Naked Wallet Soup

Episode 2 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast

 "Naked Wallet Soup"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Potential Things this week:  

  • Soup for Dinner: Are you not satiated?
  • Accessories for Men: Dan would like a purse
  • Improving Dan #1: Dan's wallet problems vis-a-vis duct tape
  • Sleeping Naked: Your sheets are underwear now
  • Bonus! Names for your penis: Please don't do this
Thanks to  Taylor Higgin  s  ( @taylorhigs ) for the logo!

Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for the logo!

Is This A Thing Episode #1: Wet Wiping Your Coworker

   Thanks to  Taylor Higgins  ( @taylorhigs ) for the logo.

 

Thanks to Taylor Higgins (@taylorhigs) for the logo.

Episode 1 of the Is This a Thing? Podcast

 "Wet Wiping Your Coworker"

Starring: Marc, Akshat, and Dan

Topics this week:  

  • Eric Clapton: The Man, The Musician, The Controversy
  • Smelling Before Eating: The real threat is poison
  • Avoidance 101: You should probably just say something
  • Toilet Problems #1: Just flush, it will be okay
  • Toilet Problems #2: America's barbarism on display, blast